Suffering

Why is there so much suffering in the world? Many people around the world, even in first world countries, live in poverty and can barely afford food. We hear news about children who are abused or neglected or beaten. The loss of a cherished loved one or end of a relationship can affect us deeply.  We have had relationships that have brought great turmoil or even devastation to our lives. We feel the pain of others when we hear about their suffering, even if we do not know them personally. News of events in distant places can affect us as if they were next door. Storms can bring sudden upheaval where homes and businesses are destroyed, causing great hardship to those affected. Could it be that there is a purpose for all the suffering?

Suffering can often be karmic, where we pay a debt for things we have done in the past, whether it is this lifetime or a previous life. With karma, everything that we do, whether good or bad, regardless of our reasons, will be done to us. This can be something for us to reflect on when we are behaving in a certain way because someone asked us. Whatever the reason for our actions, we can expect that they will be returned to us, and so it would behoove us to treat all with kindness and respect. Many religions address this with adages that remind us to treat others as we would want to be treated.

But is the suffering really necessary? If we think back to the most difficult times in our life, we often realize that although the events were painful, we learned from the experience. We realize, therefore, that suffering is a necessary part of our growth. Growth is always accompanied by pain. All births come with pain. As children grow, they experience growing pains. The pain and suffering comes as we break out of a shell that surrounds and protects us, in order to have new experiences.

It would certainly be wonderful to live a life that is always filled with happiness. At our happiest times, we sometimes wish that everything would stay the same so that we can remain happy forever. However, if such would be the case, everything would need to stay the same. If everything stays the same, we will not grow. We can see therefore, that suffering brings us the opportunities for growth.

Perhaps then, instead of looking at suffering as a negative aspect of our lives, we can try to embrace it to see what we can learn from it. If we can find the lesson in our suffering, perhaps this would help us to move forward with new understanding, and leave that pain behind, which  might then help us to shorten the duration of this period of turmoil. Perhaps, instead of wallowing in misery, we can look at the situations that bring us the most pain, as gifts. The times of the biggest upheaval are the times of the biggest growth. When the old is destroyed, we have room for something new to take its place.

We can look for the lesson in the suffering. At those times when we find ourselves in pain, we can look for the meaning in it. If we are angry at someone or something, we can look at what is inside ourselves that causes us to have this emotion. Often, what we don’t like about someone else is really a reflection of something inside ourselves that we don’t like. Therefore, if we find that we are overly critical of someone or something, we can turn the analysis to ourselves to determine why we are so bothered. If this can help us to correct something inside ourselves, we are then growing, and those things that used to bother us, will cease to cause the same irritation.

To be able to turn the analysis inward, it can help us to try to distance ourselves from the emotions that accompany the suffering. When we step out of the emotion, we can look at the lesson of the experience. In practice, this is much, much easier to say than to do. When we are in the midst of emotional turmoil, it can be extremely difficult to step out of it enough to begin an analysis of ourselves. Too often, we are too busy criticizing someone else, or thinking about ways someone else should change, or expecting someone else to help us, and so we neglect examining ourselves. At such times, when we are finally able to calm the emotional storm enough, we can turn our attention to inward to meditation, where we can find answers to the situations that causes us pain. 

Each of us carries within us, a spark of the divine, that comes from the Divine Being that created us. This is our soul, which is the part of God that is within us. Our soul has the answers to all our questions and problems. However, we have to do the inward work to seek the answers.

And so, when we seek the answers and move past the situation that brings us pain, are we then forever free from suffering? The answer is, of course not! Once we move past one period of growth, another awaits us, with more education in the form of suffering! We are constantly growing, always evolving. We might expect then, that even as we reach the point where we no longer need to incarnate in physical bodies, that we would still continue to grow and evolve, and that suffering in different forms would accompany this growth!

It helps us to remember that there is a divine plan for everyone and everything. We should be cautions therefore about being too critical of ourselves or of others who seem to take too long to go through the most difficult periods. It may be that there are reasons beyond our understanding for which someone would suffer. As an example, someone may be born into this world with health issues that cause great physical pain. Another person may sink into emotional states that affect everyone around them. Perhaps there are karmic reasons for such events. We can therefore be helpful and compassionate to all and refrain from judgement or from trying to correct the pattern of others. We can understand that everyone is experiencing what they need to experience, for their own personal growth. Again, instead of being critical of others, we can look within. Is there something we can learn that can help us to grow? And we can offer love and compassion and caring and prayers to all, including ourselves, who experience difficulties.

And so, in this world where suffering is inevitable, we can choose to be caught up in a storm, or we can recognize it as a time of growth and look for the lesson that will allow us to break free and move on. And we can be grateful for the events and people that helped us to grow.

By L. Stein
September’ 2019
Philippines